I came back from Texas last night. I left my son, Carlos, with my mom and my sister for the time that I'll be in Japan. I feel so miserable without him. Nothing matters without him. At least I still have my dog, Buddy. But even he's leaving. My sister's coming to get him. I feel like nothing without my baby. I'm nobody without him. I cry just thinking about him and when I see his pictures. Or when I see or hear other little kids, even if they're crying. I miss my little man. I won't see him until next year. I'm going to miss his 1st birthday, it's on July 11th. I am so miserable.