Current mood:confusedIt's 2 am here and I'm still awake. I work night crew anyway so it's not like it's a big deal that I'm awake but I should've been asleep a while ago. I'm pretty confused about a few things that have been happening lately and it makes me wonder, "is this what should be happening?" Don't get me wrong, I like being out here but there's things I left behind that I should've waited for but I had to leave, it was time to move on and start over. Why am I saying this? Well, for a few reasons. There are things that confuse me and I don't know if to go thru with or not. Everything in my life has fallen into place and I'm happy but something's not quite there. I know I shouldn't complain but it's me, all I do is complain. I guess everything just seems too good to be true and I don't want to wake up one day and realize that it was all a dream. It's different too in the way that I know in my heart it will be but my fear is still there; that fear that makes me want to not try so that if I fail, it won't hurt as much as if I would've just let it go away. I want this more than anything and there's so much doubt in my mind that I don't know what to do. I probably don't even make sense but it's what's on my mind rightnow. I hope things play out like I'd like for it to.